Mattherobot

    Swords, when coated in alcohol, ignite beatifully. Just thought I'd let you know. If you're ever sitting around with some friends, swords, and rubbing alcohol, you know what to do.

    In other news, I am heading down to Games Day Canada this weekend — an event where Games Workshop fan(atic)s converge to play wargames, gawk over new models, and generally have fun. However, this fun all too often amounts to staff working people into a frenzy, shouting Ork battle cries at the top of their lungs. When one person does this, it's irritating. When a convention hall full does it, it's worse. Far worse. Hopefully my ears will be spared their assault this time.

    I haven't been to Games Day in several years, since before I went into something of a shame towards certain aspects of myself. I find that mostly, that shame has dissipated. However, I still find myself embarrassed when I walk into a hobby store and find stereotypical nerds arguing over the finer points of warp drive physics. Games Day is especially bad for this — the large majority of people there are grown men, followed closely by preteen boys. Do I want to be identified with either one of those groups? Obviously not, yet they seem to make up the target demographic of several of my choice hobbies. What is my generation doing?

    Perhaps this is just my fault. Really, I only have two choices: give up my uncommon hobbies, or accept them. This is a problem I've faced for years: when will I give up my seemingly childish pastimes? Painting models, playing videogames, and playing RPGs are a lot of fun for me. I do have other pursuits, such as music and writing. Yet much of my time is spent in activities that I have been telling myself I will have to stop at some point. When will that point be? I look at grown men who roleplay or wargame and tell myself I never want to become them. Yet surely, I'm only seeing the exaggerations? The "comic book guy" is only an extreme, isn't it?

    I hope so. I believe there may be a time for me to give up many of my leisure activities, or at least cut down slightly. Perhaps it is quite possible for an adult to enjoy many of the same things as I, and not become a walking stereotype in the process. Again, I hope so.

    I think what brought this on is that a friend of mine is currently selling off a lot of his things, and I see it as his first step towards leaving those things behind forever. It probably isn't the worst thing in the world, and he wasn't totally into everything in the first place, but it's there. Maybe it really would be for the better. I probably could be doing more productive things with my time, but I don't know.

    Another thing that spurred this on was the new generation of game consoles that is approaching (here already in the case of the 360). My friend and I looked at all of the reports and asked ourselves if we were going to buy one of them. Were we really going to keep selling off things every five years, buying new systems? When would it end? To that, I really don't know. It may be the case that I buy Nintendo's new console, the Wii. It just looks fun.

    Maybe that is really the answer I'm looking for. Focusing so much on social expectations and perceptions is ruining me. Why should I give anything up, or stop doing things I like, simply because society tells me to? I will do these things as long as they are fun for me. That is why we do certain things, because we enjoy them.

    I still want and have a balanced life — everything in moderation — but I'll be damned if I stop doing things I like for the sake of keeping up appearances.