THREE MORE DAYS OF WORK EVERYONE. That is just three days. During those days I have to train a successor to follow in my thieving footsteps. Sadly this may interfere with my tendencies to blast Public Enemy while making a bagel for myself and sipping on stolen Coke from the freezer. However, if I can pass on something that I’ve learned, it might just be worth it.
Also, looking into martial arts for this year. I am not what you would call a very athletic person, and team sports have never really appealed to me, possibly due to my complete lack of aptitude. However, I have always been somewhat enamored with the fighting arts, and while I have no desire to engage in any “Mortal Kombat”, I believe it will be an interesting way to improve myself. Having given up on seeking tutelage in such obscure arts as Brazillian dancefighting and Russian Special Forces training, I submit myself to the humble art of karate — open hand. With any luck, I should be ripping out hearts in a fortnight.
Well everyone, I just read Watchmen. It was my first graphic novel ever and I think that I started out on the right foot. Now watch as I tangentially slide to another topic, seamlessly. Did you miss it? If you could have any superpower, what would it be? For the purposes of this discussion, I think you should limit yourselves in that omnipotence is not a superpower, so don’t pick “being God” as your choice of superhuman ability. Please include reasons, as that will be probably the most interesting part.
For me, there are so many to choose. Flight is something that would be exciting and enjoyable, but would likely provide little gain compared to some other choices, such as say, telepathy. That could be useful and interesting, but would likely create some moral issues not raised by being able to lounge around in the night sky above a sleeping city.
Choices, choices, choices. Would you want to be able to use your abilities for financial gain, or for revenge? Superhuman strength might come in handy there, or maybe the ol’ Gambit trick. I think this is an interesting question, so please, step forth from the shadowy domain of Internet anonymity — I know you’re out there, reading this — and tell me your thoughts. If you wanted to go even further and create some kind of superhero persona for yourself, I would not actively discourage that.
Filed under: Movies
…let’s talk about Snakes on a Plane! I just saw it, and people clapped! People don’t clap for dramas, but they clapped for this! I am not sure if the whole twenty people in the theatre were from the Internet, but they seemed to have heard about it. I myself shouted out “Where’s the motherfucking snakes?” after a preview, and they laughed! I felt accomplished.
Some might say that it isn’t a good movie, and people just like it because The Internet told them to (I think I am going to start capitalizing “the” before “Internet”) but I don’t think that’s entirely true. Everyone knew pretty much what to expect going in to the theatre, it was just the details that needed to be filled in. Those details were suitably gory and ridiculous, and we looked over these purple corpses, bloated with venom, and we saw them to be Good.
Many will tell you the best line from the movie is that which was later added after the initial filming (the one where Samuel L. Jackson gets angry at the snakes) but I think there’s better. The crime boss who started the entire reptilian deathtrap is asked by one of his lackeys: “Isn’t there a better way to do this?” He replies, with a perfect coldness in his eyes: “Do you think I would have done this if I hadn’t exhausted every other option? This is all we have left!” I am not sure what plan releasing poisonous snakes would be, but it would probably be at least halfway through the alphabet.
If you want to see it, you should. Don’t be the slave of The Internet. If everyone listened to everything that It spouted from Its myriad hungry mouths, we would be living in a world ruled by Wilford Brimley. Reflect on that, my friends.
